Birthday, Goodbyes, an Re-clarification

I turned 26 yesterday. To celebrate I made jello. I look forward to celebrating a little more when I go to Bangkok next week. Not older but wiser =) A couple days ago I met with the 2 closest volunteers to my site (John and Susan) to commemorate my birthday and quite possibly the last time we'll see each other for a while. It was surreal to think that this was the end of our Peace Corps saga together. But, we ended on a good note--this experience will bind us inevitably. The weather has been weird to say the least. Cold and windy--not unlike the weather I experienced in Monterey California. For this to happen during the supposed hottest time of year in Thailand is very unusual. Given this, I was pleased with my birthday gifts from Susan--a turtleneck sweater and a coat! (seeing as how I sent all my warm clothes home 18 months ago!)




Goodbye to John & Susan--for now!


Turning 26


Re-clarifying
After reading and re-reading my last post over again, I came to the realization that it's a bit, if not very vague. Apologies! Please understand that though I do have things to do everyday, I still have a lot of down and 'think' time. And often, if not most of the time, I get stuck inside my head. They don't tell you before joining the Peace Corps that it's really a series of personal growth tests; of self-discoveries and re-discoveries and doubting, philosophizing, identity crisis, and re-asserting about life and the world in which we live. And, perhaps it will change for me as an "RPCV"--returned or 'recovering (just kidding)' Peace Corps Volunteer-- or maybe I'll always be somewhat 'in my head'.

In any event, I think the point of the last post somehow got tangled up in my words. By no means do I have it all figured out! I contradict myself a lot. But, I know for certain that I have the utmost respect for certain virtues and personal integrity such as hard work, endurance,honesty, openness, mutual respect, non-violence, kindness, love, and fairness. And following your heart's desire. So many people I know here and back home and throughout the world emulate these traits every day and inspire me incalculably. I'm not saying we all need to be bleeding hearts and give up what we've earned either. Because I do believe passion and what makes people happy should be an important part of the path they chose in life. I also wanted to clarify that I'm not suggesting that the way to improving people's livelihoods and ending poverty/famine/inequality is by giving handouts. In fact, most of the people I meet in need refuse to accept handouts. Like my dad always says... "God helps he who helps himself."

The bottom line I was trying to get at is this... We are all human beings deserving of certain inalienable rights (one of which, I personally believe is the right to choose one's destiny or at least have some say in it.) and by recognizing someones essential humanity(through the virtues and integrity I mentioned earlier) we can learn and experience so much--about ourselves and about others. We can actually break down preconceived notions and assumptions and fears and see each other as these basic human beings worthy of shared inalienable rights. Such an experience can momentarily cut through the socio economical status, language, culture, gender, age,ethnicity, social class, education, sexual orientation, lifestyle, occupation, and beliefs--and remind us of how we all are a part of life. In such a world, discrimination, war and greed, manipulation and violence just might take a back seat to compassion.

I guess I was also trying to say that the way society is designed is not necessarily conducive for us to experience all that it means to be and live in this world. That it can be easy to get boxed in--for instance, me when I don't want to leave my house because I know people will be staring at me and talking and asking me questions until I go back in my house and shut the door.

Part of this is because, sure, we don't all think the same way. To conceptualize this, I think of the Buddhist theory of the "10 worlds" of being and consciousness.
It is said we are constantly shifting vertically and horizontally through these worlds or life states.
They include:
6 Realms of Desire: Hell, Hunger, Animality, Arrogance/anger, Humanity (passionate ideal/inactive tranquility), Heaven (short term)

and... 4 Noble Worlds: Learning, Realization, Bodhisattvahood, and Buddhahood.
See also: The http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_spiritual_realms

So, sometimes we get stuck in hunger--physical (food, pleasure, pain) and/or insatiable desires (wealth, power, fame, etc, etc.) I can easily relate this to my life. I start out physically hungry and desiring a certain food. Let's say mangoes. I eat enough mangoes to fulfill my physical hunger but they taste good so I desire more. I end up eating all the mangoes I have but I still desire more. So, I ask my neighbor for some and I eat all of hers but I for some reason, I am still wanting more. So, I go to the store and buy some--not because I'm hungry but because I crave and desire them. My hunger is insatiable for mangoes.

But, it is possible to move out of hunger and into learning. I've learned that if I eat too many mangoes, I get a stomach ache and feel very uncomfortable. I feel guilty and unhappy. So, I try not to eat too many mangoes anymore. I'm learning.

My experience with Gai (see last post) was what I conceived as an experience in the learning world. I put my own wants and annoyances and desire to be tranquilly inactive (Heaven) aside to try and learn something--to experience someone else as a living being.

Of course, that doesn't mean that I don't still shift up and down through hunger, animality, heaven, and so on.

But, for a brief moment, I slipped into learning. And what did I learn? That it's worth something just to experience humanity--anyones humanity--just to be open to it. That, at some point, I'm the same as you and you're the same as me.

To put it plainly, some people make and serve food while other's order and eat from a silver spoon BUT we all eat. We all must eat to live. The fact that we all eat makes us all human. The fact that we all get tired and sleep and inevitably, move through different life states is what differentiates and connects us. There should be no such thing as an untouchable or someone who is "too far gone" in society. As long as we're breathing, there's potential to be in any life state at any given moment.

I realize that I may or may not have muddled things more with my supposed clarifications--so maybe consider the source and consider my influence while reading the above.

Signed,

Striving to Learn!

Wake-up Call

Every now and then I have a moment of great clarity in terms of what I am working for in life and why I am here particularly. In essence, a wake-up call as to what it's all about. Moreover, I become more aware of the reality going on around me. Because, let me tell ya, I've had my fair share of doubts and confusion and questioning everything I believe in as far as the eye can see. No matter how the cookie crumbles though, I somehow make that decision to get out of bed every day and endeavor as part of humanity in some capacity or another. It's not always pleasant or comfortable--but I've come to believe you can't have the ying without the yang.

So, I had one of these defining encounters a couple weeks ago. It was a Saturday afternoon like any other. I had just finished doing laundry by hand and cleaning my house. From there I moved to sorting through clothes to keep and give away--a daunting task that I've refined about a million times. I was simultaneously cooking rice porridge (my own variety of it) in my rice cooker and listening to some of my favorite beats. Then, out of nowhere, a young woman appears at my doorstep. We'll call her "Gai" for the sake of this story. I startled at first since I can usually hear people coming. But, Gai has a discrete way about her. I know this woman personally and through reputation. Gai is about 21 years old and her 2-year old attends the daycare at which I'd been doing the water and sanitation project. While spending more time at the daycare during project implementation, I had more chance encounters with Gai and her husband--who was volunteering his labor and expertise to complete the new drain system and sink installation at the daycare. Her dark rail thin, lanky frame stands about 1/2" taller than me and most of her front teeth are missing. What I know about this girl from personal interaction isn't much up until she comes to my house. And I'm still not convinced that I will ever really know her. I know her family is poor, poorer than most people in my village. Her daughter looks malnourished compared to other two year olds (that's an observation), she doesn't seem to work other than farm with the family and her husband is hard-working--as I saw evident from his dedication to the daycare project. But, she tries to contribute (yet, another observation)

What else do I know? I know what I've heard which, like all gossip around here, I take with a grain a salt and spectate hearsay most of the time. Oh, I've heard she's addicted to alcohol and takes "yaa baa" (methenphetamines) sometimes. People have told me to ignore her, stay away from her, and to not trust her... there's a few people around the community who get labeled like that. In my head, I put her in that category of 'partial outcasts'--clearly they are recognized members of the community at large but disapproved (whether openly or not) by others. Before I went to the daycare I'd see her hanging around the community stores, sometimes clearly inebriated from something or other--barely standing up. She would come up to me and in a tiny, timid, almost sweet voice ask me for money. She had approached me a number of times before I met her in another setting. Actually, the whole asking for money thing has happened to me many times while living here and I've gotten pretty good at ignoring it. Not that I'm cold but, really what can I do? Be the 'rich' foreigner and give people money because I feel guilty? What would you do?

Anyways, long story short, Gai comes into my house. She's selling snails. They look rancid. I hesitate in minor annoyance and tell her I've never been able to figure our how to cook the darn things. Then she looks around at my house in awe at my computer, my pictures, my clothes. The smell projecting off her body is malodorous and it takes me a while to get used to. She sits on my floor as I jabber away, hoping she'll leave soon because I'm starving and want to eat soon. I do that nervous laugh/ fidgety thing way to much when I'm in a situation that makes me uncomfortable. Then, it dawns on me. Maybe she's starving. Why am I so bothered? Isn't this why I joined Peace Corps? To reach people who are 'partial outcasts'. Why have I succumbed to the gossip I heard and therefore, why am I treating Gai like the rest of the villagers. She hasn't done anything to me. For some reason, right then and there, I decided to do what I was trying to resist. I asked her if she ate and in fact, she hadn't. Even though I had the fan blowing on us, she was producing beads of sweat. I invited her to eat lunch with me and in the meantime, made her the first peanut-butter sandwich she ever had. I showed her on the world map where America was compared to Thailand and Japan. She asked me questions about my family and education and America. And I asked her about her life and ambitions. I found out that she was educated up to 6th grade. Gai had married at 17 and had her child shortly thereafter. She gets up at dawn everyday to do chores and collect foodstuff to sell. Clearly, life was not easy.

We ended up sitting on my floor eating and talking all afternoon. She asked me for money at least 3 times but, I said honestly all I could do was buy her snails, which I did. When she left, I gave her my pile of questionable keeps. She said she never got anything new before and that she only had a few shirts and pants to wear for work.

After that, my heart felt weary yet content and calm. I felt so silly about fretting over having too many clothes! What I experienced was profound. It dawned on me then why I'm here and why I do what I do. Because, some people don't get to choose their destiny. I'm here because I choose to be here but the truth is that in a week or so, I'll be gone. Yeah, I've come to appreciate certain things more and not take them for granted--clean water, showers, washing machines, public transportation, a hot, steaming bowl of rice. But, soon enough I'll have moved on to another journey and adventure and test in life--probably of my own choosing. But, for some of the people I've come to know, this is their reality. They will never see the world as I see it because I've come from a different place and I will inevitably go somewhere else. Some people try and still suffer in poverty. They'll be rice farmers and buffalo herders and work really hard all their lives just to get by--never have the luxury of a massage or a vacation or a shopping spree. Some people will get distressed and turn to drugs and alcohol and succumb to depression not because they are "bad" people but because life is hard and let's face it... not always fair. (How do I know this? Because it's the tale that I've been told since I got here and people confirm it all the time) Maybe it's my conscious that can't let go. Or maybe there was something more inside of me that flipped on a switch and said: "Hey!" This is a human being and though you may have heard bad things about her, you should treat her with dignity and respect!" And so I tried. To give what I could. To have for myself but also share with someone else. To open myself up to the reality of what's around me. It's liberating and tormenting at the same time. Because once you realize how many people suffer from poverty and scarcity in the world and have no choice to live in any way, shape, or form how they want, you want to help them all at once. Suddenly, your own worries and burdens become miniscule. What did it matter to me if I had one less blouse or pair of shoes? If someone is hungry, shouldn't they be fed? If someone is naked, shouldn't they be clothed--no matter who they are?? I'm not saying I'm saintly or anything. Sure, I feel selfish and lazy at times. Sure, I like to indulge sometimes. And, yeah it can be really hard to face the world sometimes. But, we're all a work in progress right? And once you get out there and you're standing face to face with people you're inclined to help... well, it's hard to deny their humanity.

I guess having this experience has made me realize more astutely that my passion lies in connecting with others and sharing in our human condition. That I can't be in the world and not interact. That no matter how much money I make or where I live or how much proverbial success I have, it will never amount to anything if I can't do something for humanity. Even if it means making sacrifices. In the meantime, I must work to know and trust myself better. Plus, I can't simply accept that someone should just make do with their 'lot' in life and endure suffering all the way to death. It's not how life was meant to be. Something's gotta give!

Does that mean I'm bound to be a social worker?! Well, maybe a hybrid of that at least. But the thing is, it doesn't matter the career or walk of life a person maintains, it matters only how we encounter each other and we can fulfill the resolve now, today to be kind and open to one another. Even if that means we have to let go of assumptions and step out of our comfort zone.

Down to the Wire

It would appear, I will be scrambling to get things done (and still have time for a sufficient amount of procrastinating) in my last two week as a Peace Corps Volunteer. I've been thinking a lot about the things I have adjusted to here and how much this experience has really changed me--yet, fundamental parts of my character are still the same. My life and my personal values/ mantras have matured as I tested the waters here in Thailand. At times, I was doubtful and confused and frustrated with almost everything I believed and thought to be true--only to come out more confident than I was before. I won't say that I've got it all figured out. Nobody does. But, I will say that this experience has helped me strengthen my resolve in life and set my sights on higher pursuits--spiritually, mentally, and physically. Even if that does mean more trials and tribulations in the future. I'm content better knowing what makes me come alive and feel fulfilled.

I have more than few more anecdotes to disclose before this experience is over (although, I'm beginning to think the effects of this experience won't be over for a long while). I fear there are so many more lessons learned and happenings that will go unpublished because after all, there's only so much one can write about such an experience. In order to feel the full effect, it has to be lived.

Tonight I will leave for my final root canal travels to Bangkok and by this time tomorrow I will have a brand new tooth! Fake, of course. It will be the 5th and final time I've traveled back and forth to Bangkok in a month's time and I can't wait for it to be over.

Despite the unforeseen dental circumstance, it hasn't been that much of a setback by way of soaking it all up before I leave. Last week was eventful to the max with my landlord's 3-day wedding extravaganza at my house ( I took up temporary residence and refuge from the 24-7 partying at my old homestay for 3 nights), posing as the wedding photographer, aerobic dance competition (plus practice the day before), my bike breaking down 4 times, writing final reports (ongoing process), soaking up the local food and culture, and fighting a persistent cough/cold.

I hope to add at least two more posts this week or next. I have 2 important (well, I think they're important) stories to cover.


In the meantime, enjoy my current youtube uploads of my landlord's wedding and a tour of my residence:


Thai Wedding Procession

Thai Wedding Ceremony

Thai Wedding Blessing

My Residence in Rural Thailand

(P.S. I realize I sound a bit dorky narrating this last video...it may be due to the lack of verbal English language communication I've experienced on a day to day basis in the past two years ;) Don't hold it against me!)

March Comes in Like a Lion

There's so much I still want to write and share and so little time! As it get hotter and the days get longer, I grow weary of packing and writing reports. Yet, I remain restless with the urgency to soak it up, to keep myself busy & engaged. Lately, I've been running around with no apparent aim other than to get things done in whatever order they come. I've started a series of trips back and forth from the post office (usually biking there and back). Randomly, I'll stop at someones house on the way to the office or post office or the daycare just to sit and reminisce with villagers. At home, I'm intermittently attempting to read up all the books that have piled up in my house, which for some reason or another I was certain I'd get to sooner or later (with all the free time, after all). Well, later came and one day while cleaning, I found these books collecting dust on my shelf. Now I'm awake until the wee hours to finish what I can. I'm currently reading... An Amputated Memory by Werewere Liking, Thai Culture in Transition by William Clausner (which, actually would have been much more useful two years ago...), and The Final Solution by Michael Chabon.

I've also been exercising more--perhaps, with my looming exodus it helps alleviate the overwhelmingness of it all. But, with it getting hotter, my exercising stamina is about to come up against a big heat wave--as my house tends to turn into a hothouse this time of year. Along the same lines, it appears the tires on my bike have just about run their course. I had my first flat tire (not bad for almost 2 years without a flat) the other day which revealed the degradation of the tires. Although, with a month left, I'm confident that they'll last me through until the end.

As always, there's more to the story of my current happenings but, it will all have to wait for another post!


Below are the latest pictures of the daycare flood remediation & water systems improvement project. So far, we have completed the drainage system, implementation of sinks/running water, and the purchased/installed a clean drinking water canteen.


Stretching to reach the faucet in the 'little persons' sink


Laying the last bit of cement in the rear of the building



Head Daycare Teacher Dtui (In Thai: "Kruu Dtui') all smiles & satisfaction with the results


Kruu Dtui and the head engineer discussing the details of a new sandbox for the children--constructed from left over sand


The engineer takes a drink from the new faucet. Exciting to have a new source of potable water!


Wash your hands!



With the engineer and a villager employed to help with the labor


Wife & child (of the villager in the previous picture)--this couple was here from project inception and have pledged to help until the end. Now that's dedication!
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Rushing at the Speed of Light

Last night I was on my way home via van nodding off in the pilot chair next to the door. Someone's belongings were intrusively poking me in the side of the thigh as I moved to make some space for my unfortunately long legs numbly swaying in discomfort. Suddenly, after fading off into space for some time, I shot up remembering instantly where I had left the book I'd been reading earlier that day. I flushed and instinctively berated myself with a quick thump on the head. Even though no one noticed, I felt so silly. It was one of those "silly me" moments. It had been a long day, you see, and in the midst of running a thousand errands in Bangkok, I accidently packaged up my current reading in a box destined for America! The fact that I didn't even notice until hours later troubled me more a than little.

Had it been an isolated incident, I would have brushed it off. But, since it seemed I'd been forgetting emails, callbacks and meetings all week, this only added to my list of forgottens and misgivings. I don't want it to seem like I'm that busy or important of a person--things definitely get done without me. However, I'm usually on top of things so it's a bit frustrating when you reach for your current read and discover you've mailed it to America. What's the deal? What's the rush all the sudden? Well, truth be told, it's been a little more than hectic here--not all in a bad way either. Time is running out and the to-do list appears to be getting bigger rather than smaller (which may or may not be due to all those idle days-gone-by I sat around saying "It's hot" and accomplishing nothing else but eating my fair share of mangoes for the day...but, who can really say?!).

Over a 2-day period (last week), my community started and completed phase 1 of the daycare flood remediation project (big woo hoo, but no sigh of relief just yet until all the receipts and reports are in). I was thoroughly amazed and inspired by how the community came together and put a new drainage system surrounding the daycare in 2 days flat. The first day we had over 20 volunteer workers. Every available, able bodied person came and helped--if only to improve the infrastructure of their community and ensure the health of their children. Men came mostly to dig trenches, implant the concrete beams, and seal the drain with cement. Women came to care for the children, cook meals, clean, and do additional manual labor. Aside from food expenses, these folks dedicated their time and energy to completing this project in-kind. As a Community Development Volunteer, this was what I (and all my constitutes) hope to see happen in our two years of service. Visual results. I know it sounds very Western but, I'd be lying if I said we all didn't come here to see some visual results along with instilling many other catalysts that wouldn't become visual for years to come. Not that I don't think all the training's and conversations and camps I've led do not have value. But, there is something very satisfying about seeing physically visual results of a project.
(see pictures below)

Phase 2--running water & sinks installation will be completed at the end of this week or the next. It's a rush to the finish!

After 3 exhausting days at the daycare, I excused myself for a respite in Ubon Ratchathai to bid adieu to a few fellow volunteers who planned to close their service earlier than I. A whirlwind weekend of fun, mixed emotions, and altogether exhaustion ensued. Then, on Sunday I set out for the long journey to Bangkok for #2 of 5 root canal procedure appointments. While in Bangkok on Monday night, I sat in the dentist chair watching as the doctor prodded and probed into my unusually curved root canal for two hours. It was not so much the pain as it was tediousness that tired me. Afterward, I crashed in my hotel room--bracing myself for the next days adventure of seeking out the Chinese Embassy, going to Peace Corps, picking up a picture, and sending a package. I found my errands to be easier and harder than I expected--with the book blunder being the only real setback. On Tuesday night, I boarded the public transportation van back to site. Now we've come full circle.

Back and forth, forth and back, up and down, round and round. That's how it's been lately and my head spins at the speed of light as I think about the week to come. Having just finished reviewing a proposal (I keep telling myself to 'let the role goal' and let the new committee members take over--which, is easier than it looks), I bounce back and forth as to what there is left to do on the Project Review Committee (PRC). Meanwhile, I scurry around my house to throw this or that out, pile up the 'save' and 'send home' items as I separate the 'giveaways' Then, some new Peace Corps Trainee calls me interrupting my thoughts of whether to keep or throw out a certain dress to ask me about how to get to my site. I try to pull myself together. Uh, "take this bus, no wait, that van"... "meet me here at this time"... "don't worry we'll figure out your new site when you get here!"... "you'll be fine!..." I say in the most reassuring voice I can muster. Off the phone, my thoughts fall back to myself 2 years ago--how fresh, exciting and scary things were. I sit and take a deep breath. Oh, how far we have come! Then, I look around at the mess and remind myself it's not over just yet ;)

Mrs. S (fellow 121 volunteer) and I decided to combine site visits from PC Trainees because it's easier and I fear my house will have a lack of running water. This will take place Friday and Saturday then the newbies will board buses and part ways off into the real unknown... their own sites. Sunday day or night, I'll prepare myself for another (becoming increasingly infamous) trip to Bangkok for root canal procedure #3 of 5 on Feb. 28. Then on Feb. 28 night or March 1 morning (depending on when my appointment is finished), I'll rush back to site to be ready to fulfill my local farang duties to welcome Japanese visitors to a local school on March 1 & 2 and be their impromptu guide/interpreter--the school director asked so nicely, how could I refuse. Then, after all that...I might sleep!

People keep asking me if I'm ready to leave or if it's 'hit me yet'. Honestly, my body and mind are so rooted here right now, I don't believe it's truly hit me yet. There are still things to do and probably until the day I leave, I'll be doing them!

But really, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Pictured Below--working on the daycare flood remediation project. Enjoy the Visuals















In case you're wondering, he is eating "seuk lek" or fresh meat (below). That's right, raw, bloody pig meat. A delicacy! (no, I don't eat this!)





With the head daycare teacher--the original lady who brought the flooding/water sanitation issue to my attention

Happy Valentines Day 2011 from the Land of Smiles

Making Hearts

Valentine’s Day in Thailand 2011
When I walked into the office today, I was pleasantly surprised to find chocolate hearts, brightly packaged gifts, and blushing ladies smiling on the phone to loved ones. Much like Christmas and other Western-originating holidays, Valentine’s Day has permeated Thailand just as it has around the world. It’s not the big ‘to do’ as I remember it from past Valentine’s Days spent in America—meticulously preparing Valentine’s Day cards, candies, and gifts, anticipating what might be receive, Russell Stover’s Chocolates (mmmmm), attending dances and events, baking various sweets with my mom for the sweet people in life, some heartbreaks (whether real or imagined!)...And, although it’s different, today is still that unmistakably well-known day of love. Everyone seems to be a little lighter on their feet. What is it about Valentine’s Day that brings out the childlike pure-hearted love in people? Well, most people =)

With the zeitgeist of the day, you’d think I’d have planned or done something. Well, I’m a bit embarrassed to report that I have not. With time winding down exponentially, my mind is all aflutter these days. But, I can at least say I am participating in cultural exchange on this occasion. Just now, some curious village council members (waiting for their afternoon meeting to start) asked me the meaning of Valentine’s Day and how to say it in English. I gave a brief lesson and had them repeat “Happy Valentine’s Day” back to me. Adding... “like you know when people yell, “I love you!” to each other and all the farangs... it’s actually appropriate to say that today to people you love!” Obviously, they laughed at this because they’ve done it before—usually not understanding what they are yelling—only that it is English and it will most likely elicit a response. Suddenly in the midst of this conversation one of the councilors asks me to make him coffee for Valentine’s Day. One might think that while standing right in front of the coffee canteen in the midst of conversation it’s odd and maybe a bit rude to ask someone else (a woman) to make coffee when the person asking is perfectly capable of doing it themselves. This, by the way, has nothing do with a special Valentine’s Day gesture. From being here for over two years I know it’s standard. Serving coffee along with various other tasks is something expected of me as 1. a younger person and 2. a woman. So, I bury my sour reaction and do the culturally appropriate thing while the Valentine’s Day conversation peters out and council members shuffle in to the conference room. I hear echoes from the room of giggles following: “Happy Wa-lwen-time’s Da-ee!” Then I concede to a smile as I retreat to my desk. Emotions melt together and I'm once again at a balance... awing at this wondrous place. It seems that no matter how hard I try to teach the “v” sound (as well as “th”, and “sh” amongst others), it’s almost impossible to hear it repeated back correctly. No fault of their own, these sounds are foreign to Thais much like ‘dt’ and ‘ng’ at the beginning of a word are foreign and very troublesome for English speakers learning Thai.

Aside from office happenings and random phone calls, I guess the only other Valentine’s Day-like thing I’ve done today was chanting this morning specifically for love to permeate family, friends, PCV’s, and those around me. As part of a Buddhist practice, I try to chant everyday to overcome struggles, focus on situations, and educe happiness, peace, and protection for those I love and care about. Today was specifically dedicated to spreading love (within it’s purest form, it also encapsulates peace and happiness). This generally gave me a good vibe about the day. With that, I've pretty much concluded my Valentine’s Day 2011 experience in a nutshell as of 3:48PM today.

Other Non-Valentine’s Day News
A week ago today I was still in Bangkok for Close of Service (CoS) medical exams. All exiting volunteers were obliged to come in for full medical checkups—physicals, dental, obgyn (for women), plus resolve of any reoccurring issues/concerns, etc. This was also an opportunity for the PCV's in my group to spend some last moments together as a big group before going our separate ways (though in a sense we'll always be bound by this experience). I spend the better part of 3 days in and out of a massive international hospital (which, sometimes seems more like a health spa) for checkups, completing paperwork, and, yes, providing 3 stool samples... part of the time I felt like I was being quarantined to make sure any of the funky things caught while here were treated and not contagious as well as ensuring I wouldn't have PC-related health problems later on. All the hoopla makes perfect sense when you think about it though. I for one am glad we had such a thorough checkup. Some might complain about the hassle but the truth is that Peace Corps does a pretty darn good job of taking care of our health. I passed my physical with a clean bill of health but unfortunately had to face the reality of having to get (duh duh duh!) a root canal procedure! Yikes. Part of me knew this might be coming since the last time I was at the dentist they had mentioned I would need the procedure eventually. What I wasn’t anticipating was the length of the process. My dentist got a good start last week but delayed to finish it until next week (the 21st) because after 5 shots of Novocain, I still felt pain deep in the root. Now I’m anticipating 3-4 more trips to Bangkok to finish and size/implement a crown. Such is life! Even though root canal procedures aren’t fun I am just thankful that I can complete this now as opposed to in the future when I most likely won’t have insurance (eeek!).

Having not anticipated the additional back and forth to Bangkok in my last months, I now find I have even less time remaining at site than I originally thought! These last 9 days, I’ve been scrambling to get things moving and completed—let alone start buying plane tickets and planning post-PC travels. I’m happy to report that the Jaidee Daycare Flood Remediation and Water System’s Improvement project is finally happening! This is not a test, this is not dry run, it is the real thing! 3 days ago, I saw actual proof that this project is coming together and will be implemented within the next two weeks (fingers crossed). I can’t wait for it to be finished and for people to start benefiting for the fruits of their labor. As of now, 23,800 Baht remains to spend on materials for phase two (installing sinks and PVC piping to a clean water system) which means we’ve spent 39,000 Baht to date on phase 1. With less than 2 months (can you believe it?!?!) at site, I am still a bit apprehensive of correctly completing the receipts and reporting on time for this project. But, I am feeling heaps better than I was last week when I seriously thought maybe it wouldn’t work out at all. Worst-case scenario, I would have to return all the donations if the project wasn’t implemented soon. Can you imagine? That’s a Peace Corps Volunteer’s worst nightmare to think that they got so close to a project—working months and months on it—only having to abandon it because time was running out. Fortunately, I won’t have to face that reality.

I’ve also been working on completing my Description of Service (DoS) which is a 2-3 page summation of my whole Peace Corps experience & accomplishments. This task is harder than it seems. I mean, really, how can one be expected to sum it all up in 2 pages?! Though, I get the relevance of it. It’s a nice, neat, to-the-point narrative of Peace Corps service that will be kept on file in Peace Corps HQ for the rest of my life. I can use it while applying for government jobs (all jobs really) and can refer to it for years to come. Way back when I first applied to Peace Corps, a friend sent me his DoS so I could get an idea of what I was in for. Of course, it doesn’t detail the day-to-day nuances of the job (like giant spiders in your bathroom, ants invading your desk and countertops, scorching hot temperatures, power outages, being fed delicious food until you feel like bursting, being accosted on the street, etc.) but, then again, neither do most job descriptions! Writing the DoS has actually been good to take another look at all my major activities and accomplishments.

Other than working on the daycare project, DoS’ing, writing various summary reports, and starting to plan for the future, I’ve been trying to soak it all up. I mostly feel strangely out-of-sorts, out-of-body right now. Last week I said goodbye to some fellow PCV’s that I more than likely will not see again for some time. I don’t think it’s truly hit me that April 8 will be my last day as a Peace Corps Thailand Volunteer. (I tear up as I write this). Even though I’m closing projects, I am still working on some and telling myself I’ll have time to do more things before I leave. Except, maybe I won’t. As I near the end...’my cup runneth over’ and I am overwhelmed by emotion and anticipation, nostalgia, and trepidation of the unknown.



Scary Spider in my Bathroom! (After a 90 minuted standoff, we both made out relatively unfettered...)