Rushing at the Speed of Light

Last night I was on my way home via van nodding off in the pilot chair next to the door. Someone's belongings were intrusively poking me in the side of the thigh as I moved to make some space for my unfortunately long legs numbly swaying in discomfort. Suddenly, after fading off into space for some time, I shot up remembering instantly where I had left the book I'd been reading earlier that day. I flushed and instinctively berated myself with a quick thump on the head. Even though no one noticed, I felt so silly. It was one of those "silly me" moments. It had been a long day, you see, and in the midst of running a thousand errands in Bangkok, I accidently packaged up my current reading in a box destined for America! The fact that I didn't even notice until hours later troubled me more a than little.

Had it been an isolated incident, I would have brushed it off. But, since it seemed I'd been forgetting emails, callbacks and meetings all week, this only added to my list of forgottens and misgivings. I don't want it to seem like I'm that busy or important of a person--things definitely get done without me. However, I'm usually on top of things so it's a bit frustrating when you reach for your current read and discover you've mailed it to America. What's the deal? What's the rush all the sudden? Well, truth be told, it's been a little more than hectic here--not all in a bad way either. Time is running out and the to-do list appears to be getting bigger rather than smaller (which may or may not be due to all those idle days-gone-by I sat around saying "It's hot" and accomplishing nothing else but eating my fair share of mangoes for the day...but, who can really say?!).

Over a 2-day period (last week), my community started and completed phase 1 of the daycare flood remediation project (big woo hoo, but no sigh of relief just yet until all the receipts and reports are in). I was thoroughly amazed and inspired by how the community came together and put a new drainage system surrounding the daycare in 2 days flat. The first day we had over 20 volunteer workers. Every available, able bodied person came and helped--if only to improve the infrastructure of their community and ensure the health of their children. Men came mostly to dig trenches, implant the concrete beams, and seal the drain with cement. Women came to care for the children, cook meals, clean, and do additional manual labor. Aside from food expenses, these folks dedicated their time and energy to completing this project in-kind. As a Community Development Volunteer, this was what I (and all my constitutes) hope to see happen in our two years of service. Visual results. I know it sounds very Western but, I'd be lying if I said we all didn't come here to see some visual results along with instilling many other catalysts that wouldn't become visual for years to come. Not that I don't think all the training's and conversations and camps I've led do not have value. But, there is something very satisfying about seeing physically visual results of a project.
(see pictures below)

Phase 2--running water & sinks installation will be completed at the end of this week or the next. It's a rush to the finish!

After 3 exhausting days at the daycare, I excused myself for a respite in Ubon Ratchathai to bid adieu to a few fellow volunteers who planned to close their service earlier than I. A whirlwind weekend of fun, mixed emotions, and altogether exhaustion ensued. Then, on Sunday I set out for the long journey to Bangkok for #2 of 5 root canal procedure appointments. While in Bangkok on Monday night, I sat in the dentist chair watching as the doctor prodded and probed into my unusually curved root canal for two hours. It was not so much the pain as it was tediousness that tired me. Afterward, I crashed in my hotel room--bracing myself for the next days adventure of seeking out the Chinese Embassy, going to Peace Corps, picking up a picture, and sending a package. I found my errands to be easier and harder than I expected--with the book blunder being the only real setback. On Tuesday night, I boarded the public transportation van back to site. Now we've come full circle.

Back and forth, forth and back, up and down, round and round. That's how it's been lately and my head spins at the speed of light as I think about the week to come. Having just finished reviewing a proposal (I keep telling myself to 'let the role goal' and let the new committee members take over--which, is easier than it looks), I bounce back and forth as to what there is left to do on the Project Review Committee (PRC). Meanwhile, I scurry around my house to throw this or that out, pile up the 'save' and 'send home' items as I separate the 'giveaways' Then, some new Peace Corps Trainee calls me interrupting my thoughts of whether to keep or throw out a certain dress to ask me about how to get to my site. I try to pull myself together. Uh, "take this bus, no wait, that van"... "meet me here at this time"... "don't worry we'll figure out your new site when you get here!"... "you'll be fine!..." I say in the most reassuring voice I can muster. Off the phone, my thoughts fall back to myself 2 years ago--how fresh, exciting and scary things were. I sit and take a deep breath. Oh, how far we have come! Then, I look around at the mess and remind myself it's not over just yet ;)

Mrs. S (fellow 121 volunteer) and I decided to combine site visits from PC Trainees because it's easier and I fear my house will have a lack of running water. This will take place Friday and Saturday then the newbies will board buses and part ways off into the real unknown... their own sites. Sunday day or night, I'll prepare myself for another (becoming increasingly infamous) trip to Bangkok for root canal procedure #3 of 5 on Feb. 28. Then on Feb. 28 night or March 1 morning (depending on when my appointment is finished), I'll rush back to site to be ready to fulfill my local farang duties to welcome Japanese visitors to a local school on March 1 & 2 and be their impromptu guide/interpreter--the school director asked so nicely, how could I refuse. Then, after all that...I might sleep!

People keep asking me if I'm ready to leave or if it's 'hit me yet'. Honestly, my body and mind are so rooted here right now, I don't believe it's truly hit me yet. There are still things to do and probably until the day I leave, I'll be doing them!

But really, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Pictured Below--working on the daycare flood remediation project. Enjoy the Visuals















In case you're wondering, he is eating "seuk lek" or fresh meat (below). That's right, raw, bloody pig meat. A delicacy! (no, I don't eat this!)





With the head daycare teacher--the original lady who brought the flooding/water sanitation issue to my attention

Happy Valentines Day 2011 from the Land of Smiles

Making Hearts

Valentine’s Day in Thailand 2011
When I walked into the office today, I was pleasantly surprised to find chocolate hearts, brightly packaged gifts, and blushing ladies smiling on the phone to loved ones. Much like Christmas and other Western-originating holidays, Valentine’s Day has permeated Thailand just as it has around the world. It’s not the big ‘to do’ as I remember it from past Valentine’s Days spent in America—meticulously preparing Valentine’s Day cards, candies, and gifts, anticipating what might be receive, Russell Stover’s Chocolates (mmmmm), attending dances and events, baking various sweets with my mom for the sweet people in life, some heartbreaks (whether real or imagined!)...And, although it’s different, today is still that unmistakably well-known day of love. Everyone seems to be a little lighter on their feet. What is it about Valentine’s Day that brings out the childlike pure-hearted love in people? Well, most people =)

With the zeitgeist of the day, you’d think I’d have planned or done something. Well, I’m a bit embarrassed to report that I have not. With time winding down exponentially, my mind is all aflutter these days. But, I can at least say I am participating in cultural exchange on this occasion. Just now, some curious village council members (waiting for their afternoon meeting to start) asked me the meaning of Valentine’s Day and how to say it in English. I gave a brief lesson and had them repeat “Happy Valentine’s Day” back to me. Adding... “like you know when people yell, “I love you!” to each other and all the farangs... it’s actually appropriate to say that today to people you love!” Obviously, they laughed at this because they’ve done it before—usually not understanding what they are yelling—only that it is English and it will most likely elicit a response. Suddenly in the midst of this conversation one of the councilors asks me to make him coffee for Valentine’s Day. One might think that while standing right in front of the coffee canteen in the midst of conversation it’s odd and maybe a bit rude to ask someone else (a woman) to make coffee when the person asking is perfectly capable of doing it themselves. This, by the way, has nothing do with a special Valentine’s Day gesture. From being here for over two years I know it’s standard. Serving coffee along with various other tasks is something expected of me as 1. a younger person and 2. a woman. So, I bury my sour reaction and do the culturally appropriate thing while the Valentine’s Day conversation peters out and council members shuffle in to the conference room. I hear echoes from the room of giggles following: “Happy Wa-lwen-time’s Da-ee!” Then I concede to a smile as I retreat to my desk. Emotions melt together and I'm once again at a balance... awing at this wondrous place. It seems that no matter how hard I try to teach the “v” sound (as well as “th”, and “sh” amongst others), it’s almost impossible to hear it repeated back correctly. No fault of their own, these sounds are foreign to Thais much like ‘dt’ and ‘ng’ at the beginning of a word are foreign and very troublesome for English speakers learning Thai.

Aside from office happenings and random phone calls, I guess the only other Valentine’s Day-like thing I’ve done today was chanting this morning specifically for love to permeate family, friends, PCV’s, and those around me. As part of a Buddhist practice, I try to chant everyday to overcome struggles, focus on situations, and educe happiness, peace, and protection for those I love and care about. Today was specifically dedicated to spreading love (within it’s purest form, it also encapsulates peace and happiness). This generally gave me a good vibe about the day. With that, I've pretty much concluded my Valentine’s Day 2011 experience in a nutshell as of 3:48PM today.

Other Non-Valentine’s Day News
A week ago today I was still in Bangkok for Close of Service (CoS) medical exams. All exiting volunteers were obliged to come in for full medical checkups—physicals, dental, obgyn (for women), plus resolve of any reoccurring issues/concerns, etc. This was also an opportunity for the PCV's in my group to spend some last moments together as a big group before going our separate ways (though in a sense we'll always be bound by this experience). I spend the better part of 3 days in and out of a massive international hospital (which, sometimes seems more like a health spa) for checkups, completing paperwork, and, yes, providing 3 stool samples... part of the time I felt like I was being quarantined to make sure any of the funky things caught while here were treated and not contagious as well as ensuring I wouldn't have PC-related health problems later on. All the hoopla makes perfect sense when you think about it though. I for one am glad we had such a thorough checkup. Some might complain about the hassle but the truth is that Peace Corps does a pretty darn good job of taking care of our health. I passed my physical with a clean bill of health but unfortunately had to face the reality of having to get (duh duh duh!) a root canal procedure! Yikes. Part of me knew this might be coming since the last time I was at the dentist they had mentioned I would need the procedure eventually. What I wasn’t anticipating was the length of the process. My dentist got a good start last week but delayed to finish it until next week (the 21st) because after 5 shots of Novocain, I still felt pain deep in the root. Now I’m anticipating 3-4 more trips to Bangkok to finish and size/implement a crown. Such is life! Even though root canal procedures aren’t fun I am just thankful that I can complete this now as opposed to in the future when I most likely won’t have insurance (eeek!).

Having not anticipated the additional back and forth to Bangkok in my last months, I now find I have even less time remaining at site than I originally thought! These last 9 days, I’ve been scrambling to get things moving and completed—let alone start buying plane tickets and planning post-PC travels. I’m happy to report that the Jaidee Daycare Flood Remediation and Water System’s Improvement project is finally happening! This is not a test, this is not dry run, it is the real thing! 3 days ago, I saw actual proof that this project is coming together and will be implemented within the next two weeks (fingers crossed). I can’t wait for it to be finished and for people to start benefiting for the fruits of their labor. As of now, 23,800 Baht remains to spend on materials for phase two (installing sinks and PVC piping to a clean water system) which means we’ve spent 39,000 Baht to date on phase 1. With less than 2 months (can you believe it?!?!) at site, I am still a bit apprehensive of correctly completing the receipts and reporting on time for this project. But, I am feeling heaps better than I was last week when I seriously thought maybe it wouldn’t work out at all. Worst-case scenario, I would have to return all the donations if the project wasn’t implemented soon. Can you imagine? That’s a Peace Corps Volunteer’s worst nightmare to think that they got so close to a project—working months and months on it—only having to abandon it because time was running out. Fortunately, I won’t have to face that reality.

I’ve also been working on completing my Description of Service (DoS) which is a 2-3 page summation of my whole Peace Corps experience & accomplishments. This task is harder than it seems. I mean, really, how can one be expected to sum it all up in 2 pages?! Though, I get the relevance of it. It’s a nice, neat, to-the-point narrative of Peace Corps service that will be kept on file in Peace Corps HQ for the rest of my life. I can use it while applying for government jobs (all jobs really) and can refer to it for years to come. Way back when I first applied to Peace Corps, a friend sent me his DoS so I could get an idea of what I was in for. Of course, it doesn’t detail the day-to-day nuances of the job (like giant spiders in your bathroom, ants invading your desk and countertops, scorching hot temperatures, power outages, being fed delicious food until you feel like bursting, being accosted on the street, etc.) but, then again, neither do most job descriptions! Writing the DoS has actually been good to take another look at all my major activities and accomplishments.

Other than working on the daycare project, DoS’ing, writing various summary reports, and starting to plan for the future, I’ve been trying to soak it all up. I mostly feel strangely out-of-sorts, out-of-body right now. Last week I said goodbye to some fellow PCV’s that I more than likely will not see again for some time. I don’t think it’s truly hit me that April 8 will be my last day as a Peace Corps Thailand Volunteer. (I tear up as I write this). Even though I’m closing projects, I am still working on some and telling myself I’ll have time to do more things before I leave. Except, maybe I won’t. As I near the end...’my cup runneth over’ and I am overwhelmed by emotion and anticipation, nostalgia, and trepidation of the unknown.



Scary Spider in my Bathroom! (After a 90 minuted standoff, we both made out relatively unfettered...)